Blog Archives

The Perilous Adventures of a Comedy Kamikaze Pilot

Three weeks is a long time in the life of a comedy kamikaze pilot, as I ready up for the next long awaited mission. On a wing and a prayer I’m attempting even more death defying corkscrews and loop the loops onto the U.K comedy circuit without smashing into ground and bursting into a huge ball of flames.

Life on Planet Stu has been almost too perpelexing for words in the last few weeks, hence the following hopefully makes sense, if any at all. I’ve been busy painstakingly trying to reassembling my Jigsaw puzzle brain back together, though several pieces are missing, but they will turn up eventually when I start rooting down the sofa for cash or the TV remote for that ten minute midnight freeview.

Scandal here in Blighty meanwhile is rocking England like a Luftwaffe raid, as further revelations in the phone hacking story continue on a daily basis. The trials and tribulations of Rupert Murdoch and his empire has not only bugged everybody, but has mirrored another crumbling empire here back at STU H.Q. Whilst that media mogul was under the intense pressure of an ad-hoc cream pie of shaving foam being  dropped rather than launched a his wrinkly old mush, he was able to sit  in the comfort that his trophy wife would wrap her Gucci handbag round any more would be pranksters head, as he humbly imagined his 53,000 employees with his ‘Cash Rake’  brushing up piles of money like leaves on a Autumn day.

Meanwhile in the real world (loosely speaking) wrong uns’ like me  have been going mental with a fund consisting of literally pennies, torquing myself to sleep as I screw my head back on after yet another momentary wobble. In a self imposed exile, other flawed mavericks such as  Batman would even find it tough to cope  (We used to share our problems when I’d call him on the Bat-phone, but the bastard always hangs up).

Thankfully my hair-brain ‘Stuology theory’ of humour and laughing in he face of adversity has helped last month after yet another epic crisis.  I normally keep things private myself, but it will explain how ‘Stuology’ somehow helps with anxiety and depression by a thirst for knowledge , the ability to put on a comedy spin on things, and why I’m also a bit of an oddball.

I haven’t got round to starting writing my blogs on Aliens and UFO’s, Cosmology and especially been able to get my Theory of Anti-Gravity off the ground, as the only writing since the last blog is writing  jokes. Whilst reconfiguring from a bout of ‘being miserable’ I have been combating it with writing jokes, studying and playing video games of Desert Strike, ToeJam and Earl and Afterburner on my Sega Megadrive emulator.

Crisis set in, after two fantastic years as a single Dad, my two daughters must have seen sense and ‘Vamooshed’ off to live with their Mum. The house just isn’t he same without them. My girls are out of this world …Though they aren’t like E.T as they never lifted a finger. I told them that one day we’d wake up to the house full of soldiers from the army… as it was always a mess. Teatime at 6pm isn’t the same without the three of us sat watching The Simpsons while eating Pot Noodles(Sometimes we’d even have one each). On top of that bombshell the hamster snuffed it within a week of being my only source of amusement (not like the  Richard Gere way!) after turning the cage into a hamster allnight disco by hanging a Christmas bauble from the cage-roof. I was also only slightly into a Stuology psycho analysis of yet another species (along with Shaun Ryder the house spider) too.

The two events combined to seem like an almighty  kick in the bollocks followed up by a loud arse ripping fart in the face.

The last four weeks have been bad, sad and mad but instead of the usual coping mechanism of say drink and drugs (just for example), I have found solice in turning a bad situation into a positive one. It has took  a few weeks to sort out in my head when I wasn’t aimlessly rattling around the house and watching the skies as the only thing on my TV recently is a 3inch layer of dust.  So today is the day I decided to get back gigging, back blogging and back digging my way out of this vacuous hole I’ve been in. After performing no gigs since late March and being too busy with the kids, which was a valid but easy excuse not to face the potential social suicide of stand-up comedy, it’s time to brave it, show some balls (at ladies evenings and church fete’s only) and get out there…starting with a gig next week I’ve lined up. More brain-farts blog’s to follow as as this was a bit of a rush job, (as if you can’t tell)….

Keep smiling and watch the skies.